The Satyr In Cryptozoology
As long as there have been mythological creatures, there have also been the lunatics that try to present them to the rest of the world in cages. Just as the first platypus was said to have been a sad reproduction in a freakshow, the first satyrs to be shown to the world… were actually monkeys. Despite the fact that monkeys look absolutely nothing like satyrs, people did actually buy tickets for this big event. Unfortunately to the chagrin and thorough humiliation of the no doubt decrepit and mouldering mythology experts in modern society, there are still sightings of satyrs in the present day.
Holding true to the mythological description of satyrs being preoccupied with sex, and always being ready for a good go-round, the satyr sightings are usually made by young lovers trying to get a little bit familiar in the backseat of a car. One of the candidates for a satyr sighting was the Lake Worth Monster; a creature who strolled out into the middle of broad daylight in 1969 and began throwing extremely heavy blunt objects at police. Said police were in disdain of this extremely rude behaviour, so they shot the thing, and it ran away. No samples were taken of its footprints, and some say that by now, it must have been some sort of town-wide hoax.
Another satyr-like creature is the Pope Lick monster, who, according to local folklore lives under the Pope Lick Creek railway trestle. The urban legend that surrounds the satyr like creature, is that he was an escaped circus freak and escaped a circus train just as it was going over the tiny bridge. Other legends are a little more gross, such as one that said the creature was the offspring of a farmer who molested his goats. There are huge fences surrounding the ground near the trestle so as to prevent morons from climbing it and falling off; as several teenagers and other individuals of lesser intelligence, have died and suffered severe injuries doing so.
Another similar creature is the Goatman of Maryland, although he is reported as being extremely aggressive, satyr-like in form and shape, and is said to carry an axe. The axe he uses to behead dogs, and scare the fornication out of young lovers parked in wilderness settings. The highest concentration of the Goatman sightings are in Maryland, however, there have also been reported sightings all over Yankee territory, as well as in Canada. He even once made it as far as Texas, before, apparently being frightened to death of the longhorn skulls he saw on the hoods of land yachts and over bar doors, he moved as quickly as possible back up north.
